Let me clarify something before the attorneys start warming up their keyboards.
Most people aren’t maliciously lying during a real estate transaction.
They’re emotionally lying.
Financially lying.
Wishfully lying.
Strategically lying.
Sometimes accidentally lying to themselves.
And honestly? Real estate would probably completely collapse as an industry if everybody told the full unfiltered truth all the time.
Because behind almost every transaction is a strange cocktail of:
- fear
- ego
- money
- uncertainty
- optimism
- denial
- and selective storytelling
Welcome to escrow.
The Buyers Usually Lie First
Buyers say some incredible things at the beginning of transactions.
“We’re not emotional.”
“We’re fine walking away.”
“We don’t need perfection.”
“We’re super easygoing.”
Fantastic.
Then the inspection report arrives and suddenly everybody’s acting like they discovered black mold inside a nuclear reactor, and this deal should have died six different times.
Now they’re panicking over:
- old plumbing
- hairline cracks
- outdated electrical
- windows sticking
- a roof that still has life left but apparently now symbolizes societal collapse
Meanwhile, they’re forwarding inspection reports to:
- parents
- coworkers
- neighbors
- and one guy named Brad who bought a condo in Austin three years ago and now thinks he’s Warren Buffett.
The Sellers Lie Too
Sellers aren’t innocent in this process either.
“We’re motivated.”
“We’re realistic.”
“We’re ready to make a deal.”
Sure.
Until a strong offer actually arrives.
Then suddenly:
- the neighbor’s house from 2021 becomes relevant again
- Zillow becomes scripture
- and the seller starts emotionally valuing the property based on memories, personal sacrifices, and the custom herb garden they built during COVID.
Listen…
buyers pay market value.
Sellers emotionally price nostalgia.
Those are not the same numbers.
The Agents Lie More Politely
Real estate agents develop a very specific survival language.
“We’ve got a lot of activity.”
“There’s strong interest.”
“The seller is very motivated.”
“This should be a pretty smooth escrow.”
Sometimes that’s true.
Sometimes “a lot of activity” means:
two people wandered through an open house looking for the bathroom.
But agents are constantly trying to keep momentum alive because transactions are fragile. The second fear enters the room, deals start wobbling.
Good agents manage psychology almost as much as paperwork.
The Lenders Lie the Most Professionally
Mortgage people are honestly incredible at sounding calm while absolute chaos is unfolding behind the curtain.
“We’re almost there.”
“Just one more condition.”
“Should close on time.”
“Underwriting looks good.”
Meanwhile:
- everybody’s bank accounts are getting audited like a federal investigation
- tax returns are flying around cyberspace
- and the buyer is being asked to explain a Venmo transaction from eight months ago labeled “Vegas.”
Then comes the magical phrase:
“Clear to close.”
Which is essentially the modern real estate version of surviving a hostage negotiation.
The Biggest Lie of All
The biggest lie in real estate is probably this:
“That this process is mostly about houses.”
It’s not.
It’s about people.
Their fears.
Their identities.
Their marriages.
Their childhoods.
Their financial insecurities.
Their ambitions.
Their timing.
Their stress tolerance.
That’s what’s actually happening underneath almost every transaction.
The house is just the object everybody is arguing about.
Final Thoughts
The trick isn’t finding a transaction where nobody bends the truth emotionally.
That transaction does not exist.
The trick is learning:
- which problems are real
- which fears are emotional
- which negotiations matter
- and when everybody simply needs to calm down and keep moving forward.
Because most successful escrows are really just controlled psychological chaos with DocuSign attached to it.
About Glenn Shelhamer
I’m Glenn Shelhamer, broker of The Shelhamer Group and founder of Silver Lake Blog. I’ve spent the last 15 years navigating real estate transactions throughout Los Angeles ranging from incredibly smooth deals to absolute escrow cage fights.
If you’re looking for honest guidance through the realities of today’s market, feel free to reach out anytime.
Call or text directly:
310-913-9477
Instagram:
@theshelhamergroup
Email:
glenn@shelhamergroup.com
