Last week I watched a seller almost turn down the exact offer he’d been hoping for. Full price. Quick close. Clean terms, no drama in the contingencies. He hesitated anyway — not because the number was wrong, but because nobody had told him why the buyer wanted his house. He needed a reason to say yes that wasn’t just a figure on a page. Once he had it, he signed in ten minutes.
That’s the market right now. Not slow. Not soft. Different.
Buyers Aren’t Rushing. Sellers Still Are.
Buyers are showing up prepared, patient, and doing math in real time. They’re comparing three or four houses before they write anything, and they’re not embarrassed to walk away from a showing and sleep on it. I had a buyer last month who toured a house twice, sat in his car in the driveway for twenty minutes with the engine off, and then texted me: “Not it. But thank you for showing me what I don’t want.” That’s not indecision. That’s due diligence with better manners than 2021 ever had.
Redfin’s numbers back up what I’m seeing on the ground: homes across LA are sitting a little longer than they were a year ago, and the average listing is still fielding about three offers — enough competition to keep things moving, not enough to make anyone panic.
Sellers, meanwhile, are still pricing off last spring’s energy. Some listings sit for exactly this reason — the house is fine, the price is the fossil.
And honestly? I don’t blame them. Nobody wants to leave money on the table. But “leaving money on the table” and “misreading the room” are not the same mistake, and only one of them is fixable with better information.
Price Isn’t What Kills a Deal Anymore
I used to think negotiations died over dollars. They don’t, not really. They die over:
Not the price.
Not the inspection.
Not even the appraisal.
The tone.
A buyer who feels like they’re being squeezed will walk from a good deal to avoid feeling stupid later. A seller who feels disrespected will torpedo their own equity out of spite. I’ve watched both happen over disagreements smaller than a rounding error on the actual purchase price.
Everybody Needs a Reason That Isn’t the Money
Here’s the part most agents skip, because it’s slower and it doesn’t fit in a form letter: ask people why they’re actually doing this.
Not “what’s your timeline.” The real why. The seller who’s downsizing because the stairs finally won. The buyer who’s not chasing square footage, they’re chasing a yard their kid can grow up in before kindergarten starts. The seller who inherited the house and just wants it to go to someone who’ll actually live in it, not flip it in eight months.
Once you know that, you’re not negotiating a number anymore. You’re negotiating a match. And matches close faster than spreadsheets do.
How I Get Both Sides to Feel Like They Won
What sellers think they’re negotiating for: the highest number.
What they’re actually negotiating for: proof the house — and the years they spent in it — mattered to someone.
What buyers think they’re negotiating for: the lowest number.
What they’re actually negotiating for: not feeling like a mark.
Neither of those shows up on a term sheet. Both of them decide whether a deal closes. So when I’m structuring an offer or a counter, I’m not just moving price — I’m trading things that cost one side less than they’re worth to the other. A flexible close date. A seller credit instead of a price cut, so the number on paper stays intact for their own math. Leaving the porch swing because the buyer mentioned their grandmother had one just like it. Small, cheap, and it changes the whole temperature of the room.
Buyers who are actually ready to move on Silver Lake right now have more leverage to negotiate this way than they think — nationally, price cuts and buyer leverage are both climbing, and Silver Lake isn’t immune to that shift. Sellers who adjust their approach — not just their price — are the ones actually closing.
Final Thoughts
Negotiation isn’t a fight to see who blinks first. It’s translation. Your job — mine, or yours if you’re doing this without an agent, which I don’t recommend but respect — is to figure out what the other side actually needs, and find the cheapest way to give it to them that still gets you what you need too.
That’s not soft. That’s how deals in Silver Lake are actually closing right now. The buyers who understand that are winning houses. The sellers who understand that are getting their price. Everybody else is still waiting for 2021 to come back.
It’s not coming back. But something better than a bidding war might be: a deal where everyone actually feels like they won.
About Glenn Shelhamer
I’m Glenn Shelhamer, broker of The Shelhamer Group and founder of Silver Lake Blog. I’ve spent the last 15 years helping buyers and sellers navigate the constantly shifting Los Angeles real estate market, and negotiating the kind of deals that actually make it to closing.
If you’re considering buying or selling and want honest guidance about where the leverage actually sits right now, feel free to reach out anytime.
Call or text directly: 310-913-9477
Instagram: @theshelhamergroup
Email: glenn@shelhamergroup.com
